Death of the Critic

Memories... Do Not Open - Review

Written by: Tom Blaich


My opinion on The Chainsmokers is well documented, but somehow I had hoped that their first real album could somehow be different, break new ground and make good music. To say that didn’t happen is an understatement. There is nothing new here, just more of the same beats, more of the same subjects. More of the same everything. I’m not mad. I’m disappointed.

The one saving grace of this album is that by virtue of it’s length, there are more songs than in their previous EPs. This lets them exhibit a slightly broader range in sounding almost the exact same, but they still don’t go outside of their very narrow comfort zone. The first time that I listened to it, it didn’t feel like the first time at all. It felt like I had heard everything before, a long time before. And while there were singles that were out before this album. I know that I hadn’t heard some of these tracks yet. It is not a sense of warm familiarity that draws you in either,. It is a sense of confusing deja vu that makes me wonder what the purpose of this album is.

The songs themselves are some idealized version of being 18, like what every internet celebrity’s Instagram would have you believe. It isa lots of teen love and heartbreak, traveling, parties, and sex. But it is all a fabrication to make them seem cooler. She “wants to break up every night” but instead you just have sex. That isn’t a real relationship, that is an idiots vision of what a relationship is. The songs are disjointed, connected only by how copy pasted they sound. Are the girls they keep talking about the same ones? What about the parties? Do all of these stories exist in the same world or do they just keep retelling the same thing over and over again.

Technically speaking, the music is competent. It sounds nice, but that is about it. The Chainsmokers seem to be making music more to jerk off about how cool they think they are instead of actually doing anything. They found a formula for cookie cutter, EDM-lite, filled with airy vocals and recycled beats, and they’ll keep milking it until their fans realize that it is all just a scam.


The One
Break Up Every Night
Don't Say ft. Emily Warren
Something Just Like This (with Coldplay)
My Type ft. Emily Warren
It Won't Kill Ya ft. Louane
Wake Up Alone ft. Jhené Aiko
Last Day Alive ft. Florida Georgia Line

Our review code can be found here for information on how we write and score our reviews. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, or concerns, please contact us at


Tom has been writing about media since he was a senior in high school. He likes long walks on the beach, dark liquor, and when characters reload guns in action movies.

You Might Also Like:
Collage - EP - Review

Anatomy of a Scene - Sicario

American Teen - Review

blog comments powered by Disqus