Death of the Critic

Why Did I Watch That? - Gallowwalkers

Written by: Tom Blaich


Wesley Snipes and hair dye are two things that should probably never go together again. You see, he is some sort of undead cowboy, hunting down a group of men that he already killed once but needs to kill again. After his family was attacked, Snipes goes after the killers for revenge. Which he gets, but he dies, but then his mom brings him and everyone he killed back from the dead. So he has to re-revenge everyone that he loves.

It actually was stuck for a while in production hell, due in part to Mister Snipes’, um, “financial and legal difficulties.” It had a troubled history over the eight torturous years of production, with the main actor switching from Chow Yun-Fat (who was first announced in 2005) to Snipes, three years later. It actually was finished a full three years before the movie would ever see the light of day, and you can sense that when you watch it, a film somehow out of time, a subpar action flick that wouldn’t be out of place in 2006 feels even more shockingly bad in 2013. And four years later, it hasn’t managed to improve.

Snipes himself is… ok, I guess. He looks absolutely ridiculous, but other than that, it isn’t an offensively horrible portrayal. It’s mediocre at best, and seems more like he might have been phoning it in for a much needed paycheck (just like
Blade: Trinity, the unloved black sheep of the otherwise amazing Blade franchise). But that paycheck couldn’t stop Snipes from going to prison, and holding everything up.

If the movie had anything at all going for it, it is a certain sense of style that fits in with the ridiculous story. Red leather dusters, bleached blond hair, and crosses absolutely everywhere. It keeps the set from being painfully generic, even as it leaches from the annals of the Western. It wants to be Sergio Leone, but it is far from that pedigree. At least they tried for something more, even if they didn’t manage to achieve it.

It is an unintentionally funny movie, but I’d be hard-pressed to call it anywhere near good. There is something about a cowboy Wesley Snipes that is inherently ridiculous (maybe it’s the bleached blonde goatee, but who knows) that stops me from taking him seriously. And that’s kinda the way I feel about the entire movie. Confused, weird, and ridiculous. But it’s cool when he shoots people I guess.



Tom has been writing about media since he was a senior in high school. He likes long walks on the beach, dark liquor, and when characters reload guns in action movies.

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